The door crashed open and Sullivan mentally prepared himself to sue someone for the broken door.
“Did someone come in here?” A bearded policeman yelled across the store.
“Yes, you did.” Sullivan said, arms resting on the counter, signature smile resting on his lips.
“Damn it.” The policeman shook his head and slammed the door back shut.
Sullivan checked on the person hiding behind the counter next to him. “So, what did you do?”
“I climbed over the wall. They didn’t like that.”
“You broke in? How did you manage that?”
“I was curious what’s behind.” She sat on the counter, grinning as she teased him. Her teeth weren’t human, sharp as a shark’s.
“Come on, I hid you from the police, tell me how you got in. And why are you blindfolded? What’s even your name?”
“I’m Jackie. I’m blindfolded because of this,” she pulled the blindfold down and Sullivan shuddered in horror. “And let’s say I had some natural tools to help me.” Jackie said and something long and pink flooded out between her smiling lips, wrapped around Sullivan’s shoulders and licked him across the face before retreating back into her mouth.
“Was that… your tongue?”
“Cool, right?”
“Well, it’s alright.” Sullivan straightened his tie. Jackie laughed.
“Anyway, this place sucks, I’m gonna leave.” Jackie did a backwards cartwheel off the counter and landed on her feet.
“Wait!” Sullivan grabbed the ripped sleeve of her hoodie and threw himself on the counter in doing so.
“What?” she didn’t turn her head to look at him. Might be the lack of eyes.
“It’s dangerous outside the walls, how about I come with you?”
Jackie took another step and pulled Sullivan off the counter in the process. He was thankful for that, gave him the opportunity to assume a more dignified pose. He dusted himself off and offered his hand.
“It’s dangerous to go alone. Take me with you.”
Jackie directed her non-existent gaze at nothing and smiled: “Heh, I’m never alone. But alright, I couldn’t leave you in this dumpster. The people here taste all purple and not the shade I like.”
Sullivan just shrugged off what she said.
“Just wait a second, I have a suitcase prepared for just this occasion.” Sullivan ran off to the back room.
“I prefer backpacks, keeps your hands free. Not that I have much to carry.” Jackie casually mentioned.
“That is a genius thought, Jackie, I will just dump all my shit into this backpack, then I’m ready to go.” He shouted back. “Hey, do you know Linnie Malin?”
“Yeah, we’re pals.” Jackie said.
“I’m wondering because I’ve seen an interview with her on TV and she showed off a tongue just like yours.”
“Yeah. I turned her New-English. Then she just went out of her way to become a rock star.”
“What do you mean, you turned her?” Sullivan jogged back into the store, backpack on his back.
“My species isn’t really its own separate thing, you know. I bite and turn other beings.”
“And then they just grow some fucked up tongue?”
“Yeah, and a stomach that can digest anything. And the teeth of course.”
“Hmm… well you could stand to clean the rest of your body as well as you do those impeccable dentist's wet dreams but yeah, wicked.”
“I'm going for a feral beast look."
"My ex-boyfriend said that too but it looked a little bit different with him... Anyway, could you turn me?”
“Sure.”
“Are there any downsides?”
“People get jealous.”
“I’m dealing with that already for my good looks.”
“Same. Where’d you like me to bite you?”
“Just like that and I’ve got cool Xenobeing powers?”
“Yeah, just like that.”
“Hit me up.”
“Alright.” Jackie took his arm, shoved back his sleeve and bit into it. Something warm entered Sullivan’s veins and for a moment he thought that might have been a stupid idea. Then he passed out as it reached his heart.
Sullivan woke up with a weird feeling. He didn’t know how it felt different from what he had felt before though. He sat up and hit his head on the ceiling. No, it was the top of his counter.
Jackie sat on his office chair and he had to shove her away to crawl from under the counter.
“There you are again. I took over your store for you while you were out. There was only one guy whose TV you fucked up and I was like ‘I can’t see the problem’ and the guy just left.”
“Well, it’s nice you’re having fun driving away my customers, it’s not like I need the money.” he dusted himself off. He knew never cleaning under the counter would bite him in the ass one day.
“So, I’m a monster boy now?”
“Yeah. I’d rather have been a werewolf, but tongue monster is fine too.”
“Kind of a random monster if you ask me, but hey, better than giant feet monster. What can I do now, other than finally being able to lick my elbow. Not that that isn’t enough, that fucker taunted me long enough.”
“Then you also got your new teeth, along with a strong jaw. So you can chew steel like nothing.”
“Isn’t that kind of counter-productive, with your main organ being a massive tongue, to have teeth that could easily bite the whole thing off?”
“No it’s fine. I guess if you really wanted to, you could bite it off, if you chewed on it long enough, but on accident that never happens or even when someone tries to do it on purpose. Someone tried to cut off my tongue once and I don’t even have a scar… I think.”
Sullivan stuck his tongue out until it reached the end of his tie and squeezed it.
“Hmm, it’s so soft and barely seems to weigh anything, it’s hard to believe that this would offer much resistance.”
“Keep in mind, we’re part magical creatures. I’m pretty sure you can stretch your tongue out further than would fit in your body.”
“Interesting.”
“Oh, one of my favourite things is, we can stomach anything, like I said, I ate steel once. I think we can digest things so well even, we don’t produce any waste. Everything we eat just disappears.”
“How the hell does that work?”
“Magic? Everything I told you I just figured out by myself. Nobody really bothered to find out how every part of us works exactly. Additionally, we’re a pretty young species, I believe even in my home world, we’re not older than seven, eight years. And in this world, there are probably not more than ten of us. At least as of now.”
“You look older than eight though.”
“Because I wasn’t born like this, dumbass. I was turned when I was ten or something. I’m actually one of the originals, I wasn’t bitten to be turned.”
“Ah, so I’m a generation 2 then? Do further generations get weaker powers?”
“Dude, I’ve no idea.”
“You know what? That’s brilliant. Nobody researched our kind yet, you say?”
“Well, yeah.”
“How about I do that? I will write a big science book over how… what are we called again?”
“New-English.”
“How New-English work! It’s gonna be my name on it, I’d be the expert for New-English anatomy, I would’ve created something that matters, it’s gonna be my big thing!” Sullivan jumped up and down overjoyed.
“I guess if that’s important to you, do it.” Jackie said unimpressed.
“I think it is very important to contribute something lasting to this world. Well… shall we escape then?”
“You mean science class is over? No way.”
“Shut up, you big dork.”
Sullivan followed Jackie outside and to the big wall surrounding Last Hope. It was at least twenty meters high.
“So, how’d you get over it?”
“Easy. See those posts up there?”
“Yeah.”
“I bet you’ve noticed our tongues are dry. It’s to keep a better grip on things. Grab one of those posts up there.”
“There’s no way my tongue is long enough for that.”
“Here, I’ll show you.” Jackie’s tongue shot out of her mouth and actually did reach up all the way to wrap itself around that post.
“See? Then you just pull yourself up.”
Sullivan kept eyeing between the post and Jackie, wondering where she stored that organ.
“I’m not really dressed for climbing.” Sullivan complained.
“You better hurry up before the people see us.”
“Damn it… Wait, I got it!”
Sullivan pulled out his tongue and tied it around his waist, then around Jackie’s.
“Now you can pull me up with you! Like mountain climbers!”
“Well.. alright. Creative.” Jackie began climbing up the wall and soon Sully was lifted up in the air too. This was such a bizarre experience.
“You should train your tongue-eye-coordination though. It takes some practice to reliably grab things from far away.” Jackie explained.
“Thanks, teach.” Sully saw people gathering below them, looking angry. He wanted to stick his tongue out at them childishly, but then realized he was already doing that.
Soon they reached the top and Sullivan finally saw the world beyond the wall for the first time in five years. Not in a TV, but for real. It was just a wide meadow, but so much larger than any meadow he had seen. He wondered how the world had changed since then. He had seen animal people, demons, vampires, tongue monsters like him now, other strange creatures, all just sitting on couches to be interviewed or appearing in music videos. It looked like a beautiful world. And even better, a world that had a birthday going on ever since it was born and Sullivan finally knew what present to get them: Science! Biology! He’s gonna research a species most people didn’t even know about here.
“So, let’s climb down and get exploring!” Sullivan cheered.
“What do you mean climb? Let’s jump down, it’s fun!”
“Dude-”
“Don’t worry, I’ve jumped down a few high places in my life, our bones can handle it. If I can handle the concrete on your side, we can handle the grass and dirt on the other.”
“No, sorry Jackie, I’ll play it safe. My bones might make it but my suit...”
“Wow, you’re no fun at all, Sullivan.”
“I’ve wasted my college funds on this, I’m not gonna ruin it.”
“…Really. I mean, really, you have to pay money for education in there? Wow.”
“As you can tell, the whole system in there is fucking archaic. I hope I’ll never see this wall again.”
“Well, see ya below, nerd.” Jackie jumped off the wall and Sully wondered, even if you don’t break your bones, how much fun could slamming into the ground really be?”